cents to gold…

We do not use cents in Kenya. Likewise, you are not expected to have cents either. It’s not illegal or anything, just common sense. Why would you be carrying cents anyway? Do you really have that much hope in this failing economy?… Of course, those with cents are the credit shops where you use them to scratch off the black stuff (what are they called?) from your card. You are probably wondering why I just said all that… we are now in mid-January. The dry season. And no, I do not speak of the weather but I wish I was. Allow me to just take a second to congratulate everyone who has been able to see it this far. The dreaded month; and we are surviving it and pulling through like we are heroes. Nay, scratch that, superheroes. The queen should shake our hand. We deserve to be awarded medals and brass chest plates. We are people of valor. We deserve more than February as our reward for making it through January in one piece. We need a six month vacation at the Bahamas. And after that, we deserve another six month vacation in someplace cooler and full of culture like Paris or Italy or South Africa… wherever. We are good people. We work hard. Life must be kinder. If they don’t appreciate you my friend, call me, (or maybe not) and I will buy you a drink, or two ( or maybe not). Even if right now we have more coins than hope in the future (or is it more hope in the future than coins?) we are already halfway through January. We are, in every sense of the word, unstoppable. People like us invent the telephone. Heck! people like us walk on the moon. Am I right or am I right?

Sarcasm aside.

The question then arises, how am I to maintain my sense of style even in these tough times? You never know where your stylish looks could lead you. You could become the next supermodel or attract a partner to help you fight these biting financial times (or love you unconditionally) it all depends on what you are hunting for, really. Who knows? I therefore took it upon myself to present …

STYLE ON A BUDGET…

 

1. KNOW YOUR WHATS AND WHERES.

Imagine this, a great sailor on a voyage. Say, Christopher Columbus aboard the great Santa Maria on his monumental voyage which he will use to prove that the earth is round. Unfortunately, because he is the type of people not to think things through, he forgets his map at home. The ramifications? Years later, we still think the earth is flat and there is no America. Yikes!

Clothes shopping is as important as the discovery of America, or maybe even more. It needs careful planning and  and skill. Unfortunately, most of us humans operate on budgets because we are logical but still love to make it rain (like Lil Wayne). Well, we make it drizzle, but whatever … We like working hard then saving our money in order that we buy more important things like hover boards because one day when we find ourselves homeless because we decided to invest our life savings on a machine that does the job our feet should, I guess we can just eat the damn machine because we will be starving. More likely the machine will eat us but hey! At least we had hover boards right? Fantastic machines they are…

Crazy.

Here is the trick to clothes shopping though, lists. Before going clothes shopping it is advisable to make a list. They are our maps. Now, it sounds like a lot of work and I know many people say that they just want to see what they will like so that they buy. However making a list will help you reduce on miscellaneous spending and pointless walking around looking for something you probably passed in the previous stall. The list should also be pretty detailed. Therefore, while making the list actually look at your clothes closet. What do you already have? What do you need more off? Which clothes do not have something to be paired with? What doesn’t fit? Which clothes should you never buy again? and so on… Through this, you will be able to solve many of your fashion problems. On the list also include beside each item, where you can possibly find them and how much they would go for. In the end you’ll find yourself with a rejuvenated closet.

Works like a charm.

2. DRIVE A HARD BARGAIN.

It’s an art. It’s a must have skill too. You know, if you are serious about life. I have learnt from watching the pros at work. I don’t engage myself much in it though. Why? Well, its a superpower; and with great power comes great responsibility.

My policy? Do not let anyone stand between you and a chance to spend on saving. Because I love to make it rain. Only I like to drain that rain into a reservoir so that I can make it rain again later. Nothing is too cheap to haggle over. Well, unless it is actually cheap. Then, just leave it alone. No one likes a over-bargainer (is there a thing like that?). They just give everyone headaches and make you regret taking them shopping. The point of bargaining, contrary to what most people think, is to strike a balance between the buyer and the seller and not to have the seller make a minimum or zero profit. It’s supposed to be a win-win situation. So, be nice.

Before you start raising hell over some prices that you feel are too exorbitant for your taste (and wallet), please do your research and know what that item usually goes for. You do not want to move on to a different stall only to be quoted for the same price. You’ll just embarrass everyone but mostly yourself. Yes, you.

3. GET CREATIVE.

It’s a brilliant thing. Do you have a t shirt that you can wear while going to sleep? The same t shirt when worn with a coat looks just as good. The same t shirt can also be worn with a skirt and some nice boots and voila! You look like you are off to Paris for the Paris fashion week. You don’t? Well, you should. Let’s face it, it’s not very possible to go clothes shopping everyday, or every week. Unless your Kim Kardashian in which case, I shall eat my words. But I can almost guarantee that you are not. Therefore, you must learn another skill how to restyle your own clothes. Restyle feels like the wrong word…. refashion? something like that.

There are one million ways to wear a single clothe item in different ways. It’s fun too. It’s like putting on different faces. Only that you are not.

Obviously.

So there you have it. I feel like I have provided some pretty creative techniques of saving money. You know, if you use my techniques, you just might save enough money to buy that hover board. Even though the machine doesn’t actually hover from the ground neither is it a board. But not to worry. It works better than your legs do so I suppose it is good for something. It’s just that I assumed that because it is the twenty first century wed be working on creating cancer cures or solving actual global problems. But then I guess hovering to wherever you are going instead of walking is just as important. What do I know?

Anyway, do feel free to share your thoughts. How do you carry out your clothes shopping? Are any of my tips useful? I assure you that I am still quite the liberal even in this age of hovering boards and what not.

OK. Thanks.