I have a bone to pick.
Way back then, there was a particular salon I used to go to to have my hair done. Now, the service there was OK and everything was great. However, there was one thing that really used to annoy me. There was a hairdresser I vehemently disliked, but as fate would have it, she was the one always doing my hair. I did not like her.I never complained either. I did not want to raise a kerfuffle and become those dreaded customers for whom prices are spiked just to keep them at bay. To be sincere, I guess we could say she was quite good at her job. Maybe not New York Fashion Week level but maybe if they had like a ‘Muthurwa’ Fashion Week and served that ‘mutura’ delicacy and that dear Kenyan liquor (ten-ten), I guess we could say she would definitely be in the line up. Right after Sauti Sol’s stylist.
That kind of thing.
This woman, lets call her Mama Babu because if we know anything about Kenyan salons, there is always a ‘mama someone’ working there. Some of them are not even mothers, mind you, it’s just a title they acquire. I reckon it is a yardstick with which they use to measure the level of expertise. Mama Babu was a typical African woman with those big bottoms that shivered whichever way and those supersized bosoms. She spotted a thick Luo accent alongside the darkest complexion I have seen in awhile. She had those rough hands that you can bet have spanked more buttocks than you have fingers. Anyway, at times I would go to the salon having washed my hair at home. it’s a normal thing to do. Women have done the same thing since time immemorial. Even back when we were still monkeys, we did the same thing.
Now, what used to get to me was Mama babu’s habit of scrutinizing my hair and saying something like, ” are you sure you washed your hair? It’s still dirty. Next time you should come we wash it for you here at the salon. ”
Of course it was just a way to earn extra cash but it really used to tick me off. So, the next time, I would really scrub my hair and use all sorts of shampoos but she kept saying the same thing. It got to a point i would wash my hair eith ridiculously hot hair just so to eliminate the imaginary dirt she was seeing. *sigh…I dreaded salon days. It was unbearable
To the post at hand.
THE FIVE STRANGEST HAIR CULTURES THAT ARE MAKING A COMEBACK.
- Shaving hairlines and eyebrows.
During the Renaissance era, women shaved their hairlines and eyebrows in order to appear more intelligent. Now, ladies today may see this as a strange practice. I did too until I realized the same thing is still happening today only that women today have evolved in their thinking and take their time to draw their eyebrows back on. It truly is evolution at it’s finest. A daily routine of approximately twenty or so minutes (depending on your arch) just so you can look surprised in style. I guess even the appearing more intelligent bit makes sense if you view it from a certain angle. I mean, with no eyebrows, one’s forehead appears larger and more protruding which we may imagine is from an enlarged brain. I don’t know (nor care) if that is biologically accurate. That’s the beauty of this… I can sit behind my laptop and just spew rubbish like that.
2. Ancient Egyptian hairstyles.
Of course Egyptians made it to this list. For some reason, they have a knack for doing the strangest things and putting them on record for future reference so that if one day you and your drunk friends start arguing about something weird, the Egyptians can help you settle your argument from the great beyond.
Anyway, in ancient Egypt, young adults wore completely shaven heads save for a lock of hair on the side of their heads which they named ‘lock of youth’ to symbolize their age. Now, just picture that for a moment. Doesn’t it closely resemble the girl you sat next to on the bus just the other day? It seems funny at first until you realize various versions of this hairstyle are parading our streets.
Baffling, isn’t it?
3. Passage way to heaven.
During the Vedic period, Indians, just like the Egyptians shaved their heads completely save for a lock of hair at the back or at the side of their heads. Their reason for doing this however, strikes me as stranger than the Egyptians’. Apparently, the lock of hair was ‘to allow God to pull them into heaven’. I don’t know. If getting into heaven was considered this simple by Buddhists I guess the other religions never got the memo.
Of course the Chinese would make it to the list with some Ching-Chong buffoonery. I don’t even know if that line is racist but I am African, I can’t be racist. It’s impossible. Racism was a word intended to describe the unfair treatment towards ‘my people’. See how I say, ‘my people’?
Chinese hairstyles vary depending on various factors such as age and marital status. Now, they never cut their hair as they considered it very disrespectful to their parents from whom they inherited their locks. You know, in other worlds, getting a tattoo or a belly piercing would be considered a very high form of rebellion unlike in China where a small trim of your hair can be viewed as spitting in your parents’ face.
This trend has made a comeback in the ridiculously long hair pieces and extensions that females put on their heads today. the reasons have diversified of course. today, having a horse’s tail on your head is trendy.
Put that on record for future millennia, please.
This is a indigenous fact. The Maasai morans (warriors) spent a significant amount of time braiding each others hair. You’d think that they would spend more time on learning fighting tactics or something more warrior-like but no, that was not the case. They took their time to also dye each others hair using red ocher. It goes without saying that they undoubtedly gave rise to the redheads we see today.
Just kidding, of course.
There is no way ancient morans gave rise to Ed Sheeran and the others. Nevertheless, many people today spot dyed hair.
Myself, I have red hair.
In conclusion, it is clear that history does repeat itself. Or rather, trends do. I just hope that by the time we’ll go back to dressing in skins and bones I’ll be watching from another dimension.
However do feel free to share with me your thoughts on today’s post. Which was the weirdest culture? Are my comebacks accurate? I assure you I am quite the liberal even in today’s age of trendy horse hair and all types of high class rubbish.